Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
