awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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