this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
