you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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