Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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