Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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