6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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