I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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