So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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