The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
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