I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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