went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
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