He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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