where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Buhtt sex?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
