he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
