Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
