Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
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dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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