I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize