That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
