Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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