Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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