i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I'm bleeding and have questions
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
