my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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