i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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