youre lurking in front of me
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
