i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
