READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
i need some magic done to my vagina
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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