My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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