he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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