my vag is so smooth its legendary
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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