Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
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i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
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I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.