Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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