fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
