What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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