So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Randomize
