wat bout pragnant strippers??
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I have aggressive nipples.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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