This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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