If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
