508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
