no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
honey bunches of taint.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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