I can text with my tongue
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Randomize
