My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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