she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
