just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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