I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
