wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
