dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
