What a fucking waste of an outfit
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Sext me about skeletons
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
