Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
