The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
