Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
