I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
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