I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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