I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Farmville is her only friend.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Who died my cat blue again?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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