I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
