He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
