I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
ok first of all what the fuck
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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