Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Randomize
