tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I don't deserve a penis
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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