I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
